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Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Her neck bone was so obvious....

I really don't know what ruin my mind and suddenly i miss my grandma so much. I view through all the photo that my cousie post at their blog, i feel a great pain deep into my heart. Just a few months i left Kuching, just a few months i was away from my grandma, very obviously that she getting thinner. For youngster, yes. Thinner means diet successfully but for my grandma, thinner means she is getting weaker. My tears well up my eyes. I feel very sad that she was not as strong as the last time i saw her. I admit that grandma sometimes is very chiong hei, mumbled a lot but just for my own good. Ever since the first time i overnight at her place, every morning, 6.30am, the alarm rang. She woke up, slowly move herself out from the blanket, stepping silently to the kitchen. Lighting up the stove, boiled water, cooked eggs, prepare all the sauce ready then wake me gently from the confortable bed. After breakfast, without any requesting, she open her bag, digging out some coins and ringgits for my daily expenses. When i was small, money is the main thing but now, i feel very guilty. She is already an old lady who cannot to earn anymore money for her daily life and yet i still accept her money. M i bad? YES I AM!!! 
ince the day i realised, i didn't put any of her financial SUPPORT into my wallet. Even she forced, i still reject. Almost every semester break, i went back she will asked me for a ride to consult doctor. Without any considering, i promise her. I remember the time i left my hometown for my foundation. She hugged me soooo tight, even i tell her, "Po, i got to go now. My friends are waiting outside." she still hold me tight and never thought of letting go. I cried, my tears finally roll down my cheek. By that time i knew, she actually care me, concern me a lots but why should i waited till that particular moment then i realise? But it's ok, still not too late. I still have the chance to do my parts in return before i lost my opportunity.

Cousie who is now at Kuching, Please.. take good care of grandma. Don't make her angry or sad anymore. Do something to make her happy and make her feel all her sacrifices are worth. 


carol said...

nt onli ah po..
papa mama oso..

carol said...


Gary said...

ya.. both of them.. haiz.. papa getting thinner, mama getting ill.. hope the father's and mother's day present can help..